My Process to Setting Boundaries by Hannah Sparks

I wasn’t always the best at setting boundaries, especially when I was in high school. I would push myself to do things for the sake of it, or just because others have asked me to do it. I realized that I was saying “yes” to almost everything that people were asking me to do. While I enjoyed the commitments I had, I realized that I was over-exerting myself, which could lead to burn-out later. 

I didn’t want that to happen. 

Boundaries are important. I didn’t realize that and I would be exhausted, and I would be pushed past my limits. Back then, I didn’t know my boundaries. But recently I’ve set a few that will hopefully help me in the long run. 

At first, when I started to set my boundaries it was hard to truly enforce it. I was scared of letting others down or having their perception of me change. I was also scared that saying no would cause me to lose people around me.

But I’ve realized that the more confident I am in setting my boundaries the stronger they are and the better my health is because of it. 

My process of setting boundaries usually starts when I’m reflecting. Whether I'm reflecting on the day or conversations that occurred with my friends, it could honestly be about anything. I find that moment that made me uncomfortable, or a moment where I had a strong feeling about something. 

For example, I was sitting awake at night at around 2am even though I had been in bed for the past two hours. I had an early morning the next day, and sitting awake at odd hours of the night was not helping me. I remember thinking back to what I ate or drank before going to bed. 

That’s when it hit me. The bright red and green can with the bright letters “Alani Nu” almost seemed to illuminate from my desk. I made the dumb decision to drink an energy drink before bed. Not exactly the moment before I hopped in bed, but a few hours prior. Unfortunately for me, the caffeine was still running in my system and was probably the reason I was still awake. 

Ever since that realization, I set a boundary for myself. 

A simple one; no energy drinks after 4pm. 

After enforcing my small boundary I realized how much I was relying on energy drinks throughout my day, and how it affected not just my one night of sleep but had been affecting me for a while. My body was relying on the heavily caffeinated beverages to get me through the day, and without them… I was so much better. 

Of course, now I still drink the occasional Alani, usually during finals season when I need the extra kick of energy. 

Throughout my time with the Hey I’m here Squad, I’ve learned how to prioritize myself, and my mental health better. I’ve realized that being able to set boundaries has helped me grow and feel happier with myself. 

What are some ways you guys prioritize setting boundaries for yourselves? Sometimes they can be hard, but they don’t need to be crazy! My boundary was setting a time limit for my energy drink consumption, and yours can be anything. Anything that you feel you need to help you be the best version of yourself.