Self Love (Falls On Me) by Keeton Byerly
Self love is something that I know that I’ve struggled with in the past. For many years, I felt like I had tunnel vision trying to accomplish one goal after the next. I never really gave any consideration to the weight behind the accomplishment, or savored any of the small victories I had attained.
Graduating college, getting my “dream” job, etc - they all seemed like one neverending objective to finish. I think it’s the lack of living in the moment that has contributed to my lack of patience, ultimately impacting my sense of self-love. When I feel like my mind is constantly set to “go”, it can be easy to overlook things that feel like they don’t serve my objectives. Ultimately, by recognizing there are various parts of myself that need love, it can help reshape my perspective and help me realize that there is so much more than what meets the eye.
In honor of self-love, I’m going to write a love letter to parts of myself I want to connect to (and learn to love again):
Welcome the various parts of myself that make me, well, me!
Dear body, self love is still something that I think of from time to time. While I wish I was a 34”x34” like I was in high school. I slip confidently into 40” inch waist jeans - it helps to remember the journey that my body has taken, and all of the challenges it’s endured along the way. It is in this remembrance I think of my body as changing through time, not just stuck fondly in some memory from years ago.
I practice self love for my body by expanding my diet and (actually eating) more vegetables. Compared to where I was just a few short years ago, eating heavily processed frozen foods for nearly every meal. I find myself cooking regularly and rediscovering a love for real food. While food is a source of nourishment, I now realize that gorging myself at a buffet might have touched into unhealthy eating behavior territory, not just “trying to get my money’s worth”.
As of late, I’ve made it a point to buy food as unprocessed as possible and to connect as much as my own energy into making a finished product. Things like using fresh green beans instead of canned, making kombucha instead of buying soda. Taking back my power when it comes to food and how my food is sourced has been such a great experience!
Dear inner child, what comes to mind immediately is how I used to love to escape. In high school, biking was my escape - not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally. I used to love just getting on my bike with no clear destination in mind. Perhaps it was just the journey that I enjoyed, but even today, I’m still amazed at the distances that I covered. I still remember the throat feel of sweat mixing with crisp Autumn evenings as the sun made earlier descents into the horizon.
However, I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older I still had the desire to escape. In the past, by using chemicals and unhealthy relationships as a way to escape what I perceive to be difficult situations. Today, in order to practice self-love, I remind myself to slow down - “enjoy the finer things in life, stop and smell the roses”, as my grandmother so famously said. I’ve learned to spend less time on individuals and things that won’t reciprocate the energy that I put into them. I found that what might feel like losing friends at first, has helped me really define and better understand what true friendship looks like for me.
Oh, inner child of mine - I can honor you by spending more time with the “awe” of the world around me, and not get bogged down by what seems mundane in everyday life. I think of the things that make me truly smile and that helps me feel connected to all the wonder in the world. I think back to all of the concerts of my favorite bands I’ve seen - and I know it would make you smile too knowing you would one day see them too.
I fondly think back to an aimless summer in middle school many years ago. I listened to a Fuel CD, Natural Selection, that I borrowed from the library nearly non-stop that entire time. It felt almost surreal listening to them at a late night concert one night after work many years later. I remember driving home and thinking to myself, “that really happened!”.
In order to practice self love to my inner child, it’s important to remember who I am and remember to smile each day as I try to fulfill my life’s work. While I can’t pretend to know exactly what that means, I think back to the smiles and laughs that I share with those around me and realize this is a part of it.
I would encourage anyone reading this to write a love letter to the parts of themselves that feel relevant. I know for me, as I was writing to myself, I thought back to the experiences I’ve had throughout the years. I was honestly amazed at how rich my recollection was of these memories, and how easy it can be to lose sight of them over time. I think it’s so important to remember parts of yourself that tend to get overlooked as you actively practice self love.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)