Guarding Your Peace by John Stuart
There was a time in my life when I was very anxious. If high school wasn’t stressful enough, I was in a secret relationship with a girl that my parents didn’t approve of. But as most teenagers think, I thought that I was right and my parents were wrong. But by keeping the relationship a secret it made my life very stressful trying to live essentially a double life.
To my parents, I was listening to the advice they gave me. But in reality, I thought I was in love with this girl and we had to be together. So I was texting with her all day, and FaceTiming her in the evenings behind closed doors. We both went to an online school so we were home all day where we could text, even though we should have been focusing on school. So between the secret relationship, high school, and trying to figure out myself I became very anxious— to the point that I would throw up from the anxiety.
I distinctly remember going to a concert called Winter Jam with my youth group and my girlfriend was going with us on the church bus. I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t know she was going, but for some reason I thought they might and I was always watching over my shoulder wondering if they were watching. Like they would have driven 2-hours separately to keep an eye on me. But that’s what I had tricked my mind into thinking. I remember we stopped to eat on the way up there and my stomach was already kinda in a knot. We got to the concert and it was crowded and that only made things worse being shoulder to shoulder with strangers.
We got to our seats and shortly after the concert started I threw up. All over the floor at our seats. That was very embarrassing. I think we had to move seats or something but I remember feeling terrible. That was not the thing to do in front of my girlfriend.
I don’t know how many weeks later but my mom picked up on me being stressed and anxious and she gave me some advice that will stay with me forever. She told me to memorize Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” And then she told me to imagine that my guard dog was peace and as long as I stayed behind my guard dog that I would be fine, but if I tried to go in front of the dog that I might not.
To this day that is my favorite scripture. And whenever I start to feel anxious I imagine that. For me it works! After putting that into practice, my life became less anxious and when I did get anxious or stressed I had a tool to help with my self care. I also ended that relationship my senior year of high school and surrounded myself with people who brought me up and that changed my whole mindset.
That is something that has worked for me. If you want to try it you can! Whatever helps you feel less anxious or stressed it is important to put it into practice for your own self care. Maybe memorizing scripture is not for you but surrounding yourself with people who have your back and speak positively is something you're willing to give a try. I can tell you that if you do that, the way you think and feel about yourself will change!
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)