7-Days of Self-Love— Challenge! (Release the MultiFaceted & Dynamic You) by Jewel Harris
Did you know that you were a script writer and an actor? This previous week, I chose to enter the 7-Day Self-Love Challenge. Day one was great: I had high hopes and anticipation of all the things I wanted to accomplish in the week to show myself extra care. By day three, many of those ideas were tossed out the window. Some of the things I wanted to do consisted of getting a pedicure, getting my hair done, going to my favorite wax lady, and a few other external self-love activities.
I soon realized, I just needed a mommy break. Mommy breaks for me look like trips to Barnes and Noble: without the baby. I needed a 30-minute drive with my favorite tunes on blast, without the baby. My little one is 10-months old now and I never appreciated the many offerings family members would give me to take mommy breaks. I assumed that I was perfectly fine and that my baby girl gave me a sense of well-being. What I didn't know was that I was suppressing my identity to fit a new identity of being a mother. Neglecting one part of yourself to fit a specific part negates the duality of this human experience.
This Challenge has taught me that I can be made up of multiple qualities at once without truly labeling myself one way or the other. My mommy breaks set me free from my own prison cells. For example, I absolutely love Kendrick Lamar’s music, but sometimes my mommy intuition would tell me to play Beethoven instead. I desperately wanted to watch the new Gladiator movie, but mommy instincts said that it was too violent for her impressionable eyes. I tried to compromise and allow her to watch her shows during the day, and save my shows until she fell asleep. Unfortunately, I found myself in bed right along with her. I listen to my music with my headphones on while her nursery rhymes play on her speaker. She sees me twirling and dancing and it inspires her to dance to her tunes as well. Compromise is present in all relationships, but we shouldn’t have to continuously compromise and sacrifice our own needs.
This Self-Love Challenge has humbled me to be real with myself and where I am on this journey. I didn’t send my little one to her grandma’s house, but instead chose to incorporate mommy time into our daily routine. Throughout the week I made sure I woke
up a few hours before my babygirl to ensure I was able to work out, do my affirmations, and have sufficient prayer time before engaging with her. I then made sure she ate, took a bath and was fully dressed with a snack and her shows before clocking into my work duties. I checked in and gave her tickles every so often to ensure her comfortability. She was able to have her independence as I made sure to assert my own.
I am a doting mother, yet I still have those, “why are you touching me,” moments. I can roll on the floor laughing and playing games with my child, and still crave a good game of spades and old R&B music. I can love Kendrick Lamar’s music and still be a Christian. I can workout and eat healthy, and still be satisfied with my meal choices. By shifting my energy to the duality of who I am, this multifaceted and dynamic being, I have tapped into a newfound freedom that makes me a better woman and mother.
I would like to encourage you to join the 7-Days of Self-Love Challenge by commenting “LOVE” down below. The Hey I’m Here Ohio Squad will send you an email everyday for one week reminding you to check-in with yourself and your needs. We all need a little bit more self-love during these socioeconomic times. You are the leading actor and script writer of your life. Perhaps this challenge can help you set the stage of your life for many years to come.
Additional tools for when you may be in crisis:
U.S. Crisis Text Line: 741-741
Ohio Mobile Response and Stabilization Services: 1-888-418-MRSS (6777)